Well well well, another week and another loss for Aryan. I just wanted to re-iterate that I greatly dislike you all (some would say hate) and that I hope Amin wins the championship just to shut all of us up (including myself). Alright cool, now that we’ve set the tone let’s talk about what happened in Week 3 of the 2018 season.

Real life notes:

• On this week’s edition of When the Bells Ring; the Steelers have officially begun looking for possible trade partners and are not shutting offers down. This looks to be the end of the Bell era in Pit; but it remains to be seen where Bell will find himself.
• Who would’ve thought that Fitzmagic has become the first quarterback in NFL history to throw for 3 consecutive 400 yard games — that’s right, something that Tom Brady and Peyton Manning and Drew Brees have never done before.
• The Bills with Josh Allen under center became a juggernaut; I mean what the fuck Vikings. (Also, LeSean McCoy is on the trade block if any of yall are interested)
• The Browns get their first win in like 10 years or something like that. Cleveland citizens immediately begin burning their LeBron jerseys and taking down murals and replacing them with Baker Mayfield — the one true hero of Cleveland.
• Jimmy G goes down for the season. Sucks for all you Niners fans who paid him big time over 2 games he started in NE.
• The new roughing the passer rules are ruining the NFL and I think they should be abolished.

Alright now that I got all that off of my chest, let’s carry on.

SOGG VS MIKE

Honestly the story writes itself. Sogg has scored 330 points so far this season…and has had 346 points scored against him. That’s right folks, he has averaged about 4 points per loss and has a lowly 0-3 record. I’m not sure if I’d call that bad luck or bad GMing skills; but either way his RBs are not gonna cut it — totalling 5.9 points this week. It also did not help that Mike Williams and his 23 points were sitting on the bench while Brandon Marshall has back-to-back shitty weeks.

Mike, on the other hand, is chillin with a 2-1 record without his #3 overall pick LeVeon Bell. Patron Saint of the Saints, Drew Brees, brought more pity upon Mike and carried him to victory in this one because outside of that Mike had 6 guys with single digit points (5 of which combined for 6.6 points, one of which didn’t even play).

That’s right Soggy, you lost to a dude who only got 3.5 points out of his RBs this week 😉

Mike Max Possible Score: 121.64
Sogg Max Possible Score: 118.72

BALLS VS DIZ

A battle of wits, a battle of class, a battle of….lol jk y’all both lame af. Outside of Jimmy G, Balls has actually put together quite the team. AJ Green and Will Fuller are every week studs, Edelman will be a stud when he gets back (maybe Josh Gordon too), McCaffery is like 85% of the Panthers offense and Carlos Hyde and Chris Carson both have the ability to go off any week.

Diz on the other hand is feeling the pain of not having a WR1; getting 24 points out of all 3 WR’s combined (vs 38 out of Balls’ WR). But tbh, this was an overall boring matchup and I don’t have much to say here….

Balls Max Possible Score: 152.44
Diz Max Possible Score: 105.46

EDGAR VS AMIN

The battle of the unbeatens, we had Amin’s biggest critic vs Yadda himself. Edgar as per usual is carried by his dual 1st round RBs who continue to put up roughly 20ppg each…that’s more than like 80% of Mike and Sogg’s team combined. Jared Goff continues to show why he was the #1 overall pick and has really stepped into that offense, and Tyler Boyd is really capitalizing on AJ Green getting double covered every round.

Amin, your team has finally come back down to Earth once you played a team that can actually compete. He still scored a very respectable 120 points which would’ve been enough to beat 8 other teams this week; but there’s just not enough star power on your squad to get you over the top against the big teams. Your players have a very high floor surprisingly, and you’re good for 100-120 points each week; but none of your guys are really capable of giving you the big 40 point outburst — and getting 9 points out of your RBs didn’t help your cause.

Edgar Max Possible Score: 157.26
Amin Max Possible Score: 136.9

ZAYD VS MASSOUD

And on the flipside, the battle of the winless. And boy what a fun sight it was to see. 9 guys with single digits across both teams. Zayd’s entire bench totalling 7 points. And Massoud holding the winning ticket on his own bench.

Massoud fell for the trap of playing Carson Wentz his first week back, and in the end of the day that was what lost him the game and keeping Zayd winless/giving Massoud his first win. Amari Cooper came back down to Earth (and I fully expect him to continue being this way) and you’re so damn lucky that Buck Allen gets like 3 carries a game but they’re all inside the 2 yard line.

Zayd, your team is still trash. Honestly, how did you draft this bad? What’s wrong with you?

Zayd Max Possible Score: 96.68
Massoud Max Possible Score: 111 (lol you could’ve smashed dat ass)

ARYA VS AKBAR

Andddddd Tom Brady continues to ride the bench for Arya as Mahomes cannot be stopped. I actually saw an article this weekend that said Mahomes has a crazy photographic memory and can recall not only what he’s read on the page but where he read it on the page. Idk how that translates to anything but I thought it was a cool fun fact. Here’s another one for ya, Mike Thomas has been thrown to by Drew Brees 40 times; he has caught the ball 38 of those times. Here’s one more, man fuck yo candy ass team.

Akbar, your trade for Calvin Ridley has finally paid off with a nice 40 point outting…which accounted for 40% of your points. But lol yo ass still lost. Mahomes threw for 3 TDs and none of them were to Hill; Tom Brady got bottled up which screwed Hogan (not like he was doing anything before) and why the hell are you starting the Chargers backup RB? (I’ve got RBs up for trade sup babe)

Arya Max Possible Score: 143.06
Akbar Max Possible Score: 102.84

ARYAN VS MOSTAFA

Continuing with tradition, not gonna talk much about this bullshit and fuck this shit this is so wack I should’ve won fuck you all.

Aryan Max Possible Score: 143.3 (fuck me….I would’ve won if I started Jordy)
Mostafa Max Possible Score: 133.14 (Optimal Lineup)

WIZARD VS AZIZI’S

And last on our list but first in our hearts, the Wizard himself vs the Azizi bros. So, lowkey, Yema and Bill yall are gonna have to make some moves. Your RBs are off, your WRs outside of Antonio Brown are off and Rodgers has been meh as well. Add that with your Minnesota Defense putting up shit numbers 2 weeks in a row and you have this beautiful mess that you’ve created. It must feel shitty that you didn’t start AP, but honestly you would’nt have won anyways so don’t worry..hehe

Kayvon over here puts up nearly 200 points this week. I know Mike be banging his head seeing the numbers that Kamara has put up thus far and taking Bell over him. Matty light has finally come back to life and JuJu is also reaping the benefits of everyone double covering Antonio Brown. Robert Woods has been going off (honestly, wtf?) and Tevin Coleman continues to put up just enough to keep that RB2 slot warm./

Wizard Max Possible Score: 200.76 (He could’ve broken the 200 mark!)
Azizis Max Possible Score: 117.1