Howdy y’all and welcome back to this edition of the Weekly Recap, with your host His Royal Freshness. It was another hard fought week of drama and glory for the Coliseum; and we now have 4 undefeated teams: Mostafa, Kayvon, Edgar, and everyone’s underdog Amin. But let’s take a quick little peak at the standings to get some mroe info into this:

What’s this saying? That 2/4 undefeated teams hav had the easiest schedule in the league so far: Edgar and Amin. With only 183 and 184 points against, they are both 40 points lower than the next closest Massoud Waziri. On the flipside, reigning champs the Azizi’s have had the league’s hardest schedule thus far and are 0-2. (Mostafa has had the 3rd toughest schedule — but has scored the most points thus far).

Let’s jump into some real world info again shall we:

• When The Bells Ring: Update, no end in the LeVeon Bell holdout in sight. Rumors have it that Mike Tomlin has lost control of his locker room; and that Big Ben is going to retire mid-game like Vontae Davis.
• Speaking of which, Vontae Davis played 9 seasons in the league and apparently 1/2 a game with the Bills was enough to make him retire…at halftime.
  • To clarify, this is so unheard that the fine gentlemen at Football Reference had to create a new feature to display half games: https://twitter.com/pfref/status/1041714097711136768
• Fitzpatrick is a better Connor McGregor than Connor McGregor
• I flew from San Francisco to New York on September 14th. Today on September 18th I flew back to San Francisco…and will be flying back to New York on September 20th. I’m tired, man.

Enough of my bitching, onto the good stuff.

SOGG VS DIZ

The biggest nail biter game came down right to the wire of the Monday night game. Sogg held a slight 1 point advantage with 2 players left to play against Diz who only had Alfred Robinson. Well folks, I’m here to report that Sogg has still not left that basement brewery in San Clemente after Brandon Marshall and Penny scored a combined 9.4 points while Allen Robinson dropped 13 for Diz sealing the win.

Quoting Sogg himself, “I need a RB so bad. My starting RBs got me 14 points in 2 weeks. Haha and I lost both weeks by less than 8 points”. Well Soggy, you’re correct; 50 points out of Big Ben and 20 points out of Deandre was not enough to lift your 7.6 points from RBs to victory. Diz on the other hand had an all around solid showing with very few holes (and he needed it).

Sogg Max Possible Score: 151.28 (You would’ve won even with the RB showing with some starter swapping)
Diz Max Possible Score: 139.86

BALLS VS WIZARD

See, I told you Ajayi was injury prone….in like 2010. That makes me a wizard too, right? Before Kayvon holds another grudge for a year, let me give him some praise for this team he’s put together. Matty Light somehow had 2 rushing touchdowns this week, Juju went off on the big comeback against the Chiefs, Mike Evans might be playing the best football of his career, and with Devonte Freeman out Tevin Coleman is a solid RB2.

Balls, you had a good showing too tbh. You were let down by your Flex, if you had started Will Fuller you would’ve been the first dude of 2018 to down the Wizard. Who would’ve thought, after Thursday night and 3 TDs out of AJ Green I thought it was gonna be an easy sweep for you. Oh well, Josh Gordon is gonna pay off for you now so there’s a silver lining.

Balls Max Possible Score: 148.44
Wizard Max Possible Score: 148.68 (damn this would’ve been close)

MIKE VS AMIN

The Saints Gods were not as forgiving to Mike this time; and Amin strolled right into the 2-0 spot. For Amin, his first round pick Deshaun Watson stepped up strong to go alongside trade acquisitions Galloway and Cooks. Amin has lowkey put together a string of decent trades that have shown great returns for him; however it should still be noted that he has had the second easiest schedule in the league thus far (granted he would’ve beaten 11 teams this week so it’s not all for show).

Mike Max Possible Score: 108.32
Amin Max Possible Score: 160.7

EDGAR VS ZAYD

Oh how the mighty have fallen, after winning 3 chips in a row Zayd is currently in the bottom 3 of points scored and is the lucky recipient of a 0-2 record. I mean, there’s really nothing that can be said about Zayd’s team’s performance this past week….it was just….not good.

Edgar on the other hand has had the easiest schedule in the league thus far and has reaped a 2-0 record. Gurley has begun this season exactly where he left off last season while Goff has given him just enough to keep winning. I’m not sure about Barkley’s production moving forward, as the Giants offensive line is fucking horrid; but he should still receive a fair share of passes coming his way as defenses double down on Odell. But if you want to compete, you’re gonna have to figure out your flex spot.

Edgar Max Possible Score: 128.36
Zayd Max Possible Score: 92.54

MOSTAFA VS AKBAR

Alright Mostafa, your team is the real deal. You have had the 3rd toughest schedule in the league this season and you lead the league in scoring to give you a 2-0 record. I do think Thielen’s stat line is padded; that roughing the passer call on Clay Matthews was fucking bullshit which gave the Vikings the opportunity to come back and gave Thielen the extra yardage and touchdown. Conner is still the best pickup of the league, and Melvin Gordon is the entire Chargers offense. (And now Brieda too? Jesus..)

Akbar, you put up a tough fight, nearly 50 points out of Kirk Cousins (also inflated, see above) — solid outings out of both Hill and Adams and a good game by your tight end was not enough to compete with the high scoring output of Mostafa. Sorry but.

Mostafa Max Possible Score: 184.58
Akbar Max Possible Score: 150.8 (154.8 if you didn’t start a kicker) (Even at your peak lineup it wouldn’t have been enough)

ARYAN VS MASSOUD

Keeping in line with last week, fuck all yall. I finally got a win. I’m trading RBs for WR hit me up.

Aryan Max Possible Score: 109.4 (110.4 if I didn’t start a defense)
Massoud Max Possible Score: 79.68 (Eyy our first optimum lineup)

ARYA VS REIGNING CHAMPS

And last but not least, a grudge match with the dude with my first name minus a letter vs the brothers with my last name plus a letter. Coincidence? I think not.

Who would’ve thought the first QB drafted would end up being benched by week 2..Well Arya you’re a lucky man that you had depth elsewhere. Mike Thomas continues to kill it for you and your running backs have done just enough to keep you competitive. But in the end your win was because of Mahomes; so enjoy your victory on the back of the first QB in NFL history to have 10 passing touchdowns in the first 2 games of the season.

Yema and Bill, you guys are not looking hot. Benching Aaron Rodgers for Case Keenum (eh not much of a difference) — losing your WR2 and now your RB1 for at least 2 games. Hey, if you want Bernard I’ll trade him to you for AB. Lemme know.

Arya Max Possible Score: 165.74
Yema/Bill Max Possible Score: 108.54